Hospice Evaluation 1-3-2020

Stein Hospice came yesterday for Mom. Amber Daniels (a name you will hear often) is the name of the sweet, kind nurse that helped evaluate Mom. Amber was only here about 15 minutes before she sent off her recommendation to the Hospice Doctor and he immediately told her to start Mom on the program. We discussed the DNR/CC option again and Mom signed a new one, that now hangs on my refrigerator. Amber reduced Mom's mediations to just the necessary ones to make her comfortable. Mom smiled and said "Oh good! I hated taking all those pills!" Between that reduction of meds and the oxygen, that they brought out later, she was so happy. She said that the oxygen brings her comfort too.

Mom is sleeping a lot. According to the chart they gave me in the booklet "When Death is Near", Mom appears to be in the "One to Three Months" stage.

• Withdrawal from people and activities
• Communicating less
• Eating and drinking less
• Sleeping more
• Weight loss (Mom has lost 6 pounds just since Christmas Day)

The next stage is "One to Two Weeks" (I see some of these signs starting also)

• Disorientation and confusion (Mom struggles with this quite a bit)
• Use of symbolic language - ("I want to go be with Papa and Jesus" is often said)
• Changes in skin color
• Decrease in blood pressure
• Increase or decrease in pulse
• Irregularities in breathing
• Changes in body temperature, hot/cold
• Not eating, taking little or no fluids (Mom eats about 1/4 cup of food and has to force it down. Nothing tastes good to her and she is eating just to stay alive - her words). I would say we are lucky to get maybe a cup or two of liquids in her a day and most of those are with pill taking.

"Days to Hours"

• Sleeping most of the time
• Surge of Energy
• Restlessness
• Difficulty swallowing
• further discoloration of skin
• Ongoing changes in breathing (long pauses between breaths)
• Rattling breathing sounds
• Weak pulse
• Further decrease in blood pressure
• Decreased urine output or no urine
• Eyelids no longer able to close completely

"Minutes"

• Shallow breaths with longer pauses
• Mouth open
• Unresponsive

I have canceled all of Mom's upcoming doctors' visits, tests and blood draws. Hospice will do anything that she needs now along with this line, if they find it necessary.

I hugged Amber tight and thanked her for coming. The relief that I felt when she was admitted to the Hospice program, was both wonderful and surreal. On one hand, it felt like someone was FINALLY believing me as to how far her health has declined. (I know that is not true but that is what it felt like.) And then the feelings of a sort of betrayal or maybe giving up were also there (I am convinced it was the voice of the enemy, because it sure wasn't the voice of my Heavenly Father! I KNOW His voice and it didn't come from Him!) I sort of feel like I am walking through molasses, - like things here at home are in slow motion, while the world is still spinning by at a rapid pace.

We had planned to fly to Amy and Kelly's for the entire month of February, so my Norwex schedule is very light (with just online things to do). So, if I can just get through January with a few (4) commitments that I have had on my calendar for several months, life will slow down for me with my job and I can focus more on just being fully present for Mama.

I know in my heart of hearts, that Hospice is the right choice. She is already happier and more comfortable.

*** I have turned off the dings of the ongoing silly  Jones family text thread on her phone. She rarely looks at her phone at all anymore and most of the dings happen while she is trying to sleep or rest. I am monitoring her calls for her. She really doesn't feel much like talking on the phone and is withdrawing from caring if she talks on the phone or not. Feel free to come for short visits. She tires very quickly. The littlest things (like bathing, for example) wear her out completely. ***

Please keep the cards and letters coming. She loves getting happy mail. Her new address is:

689 Butler Road S

New London, OH 44851

I will try to post daily, in the evenings, or as there is something worthy of reporting to help keep you all in the loop.

Prayer Requests:

• That if it's Mom's time (those days are already written in the Book of Life) that she go quickly and without any pain. She is not afraid of dying but really scared of suffocating to death. She is very concerned about that.
• As with Dad, my wish is to be at her bedside when she passes onto Jesus. I don't want her to be alone when she sighs out that last bit of life.

I love you, family and friends! The Lord is my Rock and my Strength! Blessed be the Name of the Lord! He comforts and sustains me through every step of this journey. I am blessed beyond words to be traveling this grace-filled, holy road with my sweet little Mama. I have no idea how people get through life without a deep personal relationship with Jesus Christ. 

All for His glory,

Laurie