This morning, around 11:00AM, the Hospice Chaplin stopped in to see Mom. He talked quietly to Mom for awhile and then he read her Psalm 121. I am not sure she comprehended those beautiful words but I did. He prayed for Mom and ended with the Lord's Prayer. Mom perked up and recited it with him and then sort of drifted far away again.
Lyn made some tasty lunch for Mom's afternoon guests. Aunt Mary, Sally and Paul stopped to say their goodbyes. Aunt Mary had some things that she really wanted to tell Mom and it was beautiful to see her softly speaking her words of love and goodbyes. They have always been so close - almost like twins! Mom has told me so many times "I want to die but I don't know how to die!" She told Aunt Mary and Sally the same thing. When she woke up this morning she asked why she was still here.
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| Aunt Mary and Mama |
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| One last picture together. It's a good one, I think. |
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| Sally saying her goodbyes, too. Mom is so loved! |
Mom needed a nap once they left but she didn't sleep very long. She is still in a state of confusion and it seems worse when she is tired. She doesn't remember anymore how to open her water bottle. She doesn't remember what she is in the midst of and asks me what she is doing or what she is supposed to do next. She doesn't remember Aunt Mary, Sally and Paul coming anymore. She worries when I am not in sight. She says I need to do her thinking for her.
I noticed her legs are swelling up again. She had been doing so good since she got out of the hospital on Dec. 23rd, but now I see them starting to retain water. She seems to have more mucus in her lungs too, today, though not as bad as I have seen in the past. I put in a call to her nurse, Amber, to voice my concerns. She is checking with the doctor to see if we could increase mom's diuretics a little more. That concerns me because those pills are so hard on her kidneys but if we don't keep the fluid down she can't breathe easily. What is good for the heart is bad for kidneys. What is good for the kidneys is hard on the heart. It's a fine and constant balancing act. Being on Hospice, they don't take all the blood tests like they used to do. I liked seeing how her test results were all the time but now it is just a waiting game.
So we wait...
Laurie
UPDATE: Mom just woke from a longer nap and said how much she enjoyed Aunt Mary and the way she, Mary, reminded her of fun things from long ago. She said she is really tired but that she had such a good time. The brain is an interesting thing.... one minute she is with me and the next she is not. She remembered a lot of our day after resting....
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