Today was a quiet day of rest for both Mom and me. She was restless last night and had a hard time even going to bed, let alone staying asleep for too long. She woke me several times in the night so this morning, I felt a bit like the mama of new baby who has its days and nights mixed up. She woke early this morning, before I was ready to get up - but, well... when she is up, so am I. She was confused this morning likely from lack of good sleep.
I was helping her bathe and get into some clean pajamas. As I stooped down to help her get her swollen feet and legs into her pajama pants, she leaned over and kissed the top of my head. She didn't say anything but the words she spoke in that little kiss were many! I know she loves me. What a good feeling!
Sara brought her troops by while Mom was eating lunch. Sara mentioned that Mom was the most distant she had ever seen her. When I told her that Brian and Stacey were coming tomorrow, she had to stop and think who they were. She kept repeating, softly under her breath, "Brian and Stacey. Brian and Stacey." trying to recall why those names sounded familiar. Finally it clicked when I told her it was Lyn's son and his wife and then she said, "Good."
I ground up Mom's pills today for the first time and put them in a couple spoonfuls of yogurt. Stacey is bringing some applesauce for me to use for her pills. Swallowing them is getting harder each day. She really liked taking them that way and gobbled them right down. Another problem solved!!!
Her legs are a lot more swollen today than yesterday. Her breathing, thank heavens, is not labored yet. But she is hardly peeing. Even with her dose of diuretics, twice a day, she has only gone a little bit twice, between 8AM and 4:30PM. She is coughing up more junk from her lungs.
She has just been really confused today. A great deal of the day she just stands staring. Lost in a place where even thoughts or dreams have evaporated. She will still usually respond yes or no when I ask her a question, though the most frequent response is "I don't know" or "Let me think about that". She has been standing in one spot for well over an hour now. She refuses to sit or lay down right now.
That's about all there is to report today. Tomorrow we have family coming to see her. Everyone wants to visit her again. She has been such a huge part of our family. We all love her so much. She and Dad made things so fun for Lyn and me, for our kids and for our grandkids. Such good memories.
Each night when I tuck her in, I tell her how much I love her and that it's OK to die. And I wonder, will tonight be the night?
Laurie
Today I went to my jewelry box and held the first bracelet that Ginnie taught me to make. She was so patient with me. I tend to be a perfectionist and kept finding mistakes in my bracelet then would take it apart. She tried to tell me that no one would see the mistake; I told her I would see it. She said I was a good beader, I learned from the best!
ReplyDeleteAs always, I am keeping you all in my prayers.