Sunday Sentiments 1-5-2020

Yesterday Mom told me that she wanted me to take her to church but when this morning rolled around she was too exhausted to consider it anymore.  I washed her hair, bathed her and put some clean pajamas on her and she was wiped out! She did mention how good it felt to get cleaned up though.

Mike offered to stay home with Mom this morning so that I could go to church - I think we will be taking turns for the next few weeks. I would have loved to have had Mom and Mike join me but for now, we are making the best of it. I will try to find someone who can come sit with Mom on Sunday mornings so that Mike and I can worship together. We will figure out what the new normal is soon.

Shortly after I got home we had lunch and then the Hospice Nurse came for a visit. She said that she thinks Mom recent sudden changes are just the natural progression of the journey she is on. She rarely smiles anymore, so if you happen to catch one, treasure it. She is just so confused and she keeps asking me why she can't think anymore. Her lungs sounded clear and there hasn't been much mucus to bring up the past 24 hours or so, so that makes Mom seem comfortable. She doesn't have any signs or complaints of pain anywhere.

Aunt Jeannene stopped by to visit Mom this afternoon. She brought along her little dog, Hope, to try to cheer Mom up. Mom often dog-sat for Hope and we thought it might bring some joy to her life.

I did manage to get Mom to smile for the picture but as soon as it was done, she went back to her solemn new self!

Sara came over later and spent some time with Mom. There was a short period of time where she sort of acted like her old self. Sara loved on her and rubbed her feet with lotion.

Mom kept telling Sara over and over again how much she loves her. Sara was able to tell Mom some special things that she wanted to say and it brought a few tears to Sara's eyes.

 Sara and her precious grandma were doing a little snuggling. It was truly a heartwarming thing to see between them.

She had a lot of people making plans to stop and see her this week. Dana, Chris and Robin are coming down on Tuesday to spend a little time with her. On Wednesday, we are getting visits from Emily and Aunt Mary and Sally.

Mom has so many people who love her.

She still speaks love into us and is so grateful for anything anyone does for her.

If only she wasn't so confused...

"Laurie, what am I supposed to do now?"
"I don't know."
"I need to think about it..."
"Why am I so dumb?"

Those are phrases that I hear over and over again. She knows she is confused and that's frustrating to her. I just keep reassuring her that everything is OK and I am helping her to think.

That's all we can do for now....


***If anyone has a baby monitor laying around, I would love to borrow one. I have been sleeping on the couch so that I can hear her call for me. A monitor would allow me to sleep in my own bed. I could buy one, I know, but I don't think I will need it for a very long period of time.